Why Building Resilience Begins with the Heart
Along with many coaches and leaders I’ve been obsessed with the idea of resilience over these last few weeks. How to build it. How to reinforce it. How to access it when I’ve had a bad day. I read all the articles and took all the advice to create a rigorous resilience practice. With the full orchestra soundtrack of “Les Misérables” playing in my head, one arm raised in defiance, I walk every day, drink healthy smoothies every morning and regularly chant with my yoga teacher. Each activity helping me overcome this thing no matter what it takes.
And then I talked to one of the wisest women I know, my first coach. I turned to her for advice about sharing resilience practices in this difficult time. She said, “Hmm, let me read you the definition of resilience.” “The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness; the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape.” Wait, what!? (Cue Les Mis soundtrack screeching to a halt.) The idea of springing back to the way things were, stopped me in my tracks. Six weeks into this pandemic, it is very clear that springing back to normal is just not going to happen.
So, why the relentless focus on resilience? The toughest moments of the past few weeks were also my most vulnerable. Sharing the heart wrenching realities with my team of those we’ve lost to the virus. Comforting those who are drenched in fear and exhaustion. And listening to the stories of community leaders struggling to meet the needs of the fragile populations they serve. When I needed to draw on my reserves the process always started in my heart.
Resilience is inextricably linked to the ability to make a recovery, to rebuild and replenish. Perhaps this time of isolation requires us to reframe what it means to be resilient. Perhaps resilience in this crisis is about being tough enough to access tenderness.
Through my clients, colleagues and coaching community I’m seeing resilience in a new light. Getting through this crisis calls us to access grace and open our hearts. Here are some observations about building resilience in the current pandemic:
Think about what you really need. I had a client tell me, “I am relaxing into who I really am.” It struck me as a perfect invitation for the moment we are in. A time to listen, really listen, to who we are and what we need, opening space to relax and find ourselves. In the early days of the crisis we asked each other, “Do you have what you need?” Now I find myself asking, “What do you need?” Sometimes the answer is simply, a nap.
Connect through caring. The coaching community that I belong to organized themselves to offer free coaching to healthcare providers. Across the country businesses are pivoting to manufacture ventilators and masks, while families are dusting off sewing machines to get in on the action. It feels good to do something that matters, no matter how small. Connecting with each other in meaningful, helpful ways is fundamental to the human spirit.
Make time to play. Around the world people are imitating famous artwork in their homes by rummaging through closets and making good use of glue and scissors. This delightful distraction is filled with healing. Imitating art invites us to find a new way to interpret what we see, drawing us into collaboration. Play allows us to learn and grow. Over time, play builds the skills to innovate.
I’ve been thinking about resilience as the mesh armor once worn into battle. I thought of it as something that needs mending and reinforcement. Another day, another yoga class, more flax in my smoothie. But what if resilience right now is about giving ourselves a break? What if it’s about treating each other with tenderness? Are we called to relax into who we really are through moments of clarity, kindness and play?
This article is weaved together from conversations, challenging questions and a-ha moments over the last few weeks. Many thanks to my husband, Eric Boyd, for conversations, edits and art challenge play. And to my dear friend and mentor, JoAnn Lucero, who always knows how to get to a deeper level.
What is Your Heart Asking You?
Where are you seeing resilience grow? What is your heart asking of you? If you’re ready to have this conversation with a coach and build your ability to grow personal resilience, connect with Anna for a free discovery call.
About Anna & Executive Horizons
Anna Alvarez Boyd, is the founder of Executive Horizons LLC, a consulting and leadership coaching business. Anna brings over 30 years of experience as a trusted senior leader to her clients. Her coaching starts with the belief that every individual is talented, creative and whole. She supports clients to deeper self-discovery, through a unique, tailored approach for each person that includes skill building, reflective practices and leadership development.