Three Things I Learned from My Mother About Leading a Long and Healthy Life
Recently, I had the good fortune to celebrate my mother’s 90th birthday with her. When I asked her what she wanted she asked me to come with her to the celebration being planned by her Italian Trentini community. My mother is from the Tesino Valley in the Alto Adige, part of the Italian Alps. In the aftermath of World War II my mother met my father on a train headed to Venice. He was tracing the steps of his older brother, who had fallen during the war. She was taking a break from running the town bar. In 1960 my dad convinced her to marry him and emigrate to America. Even though she sailed away from her beloved country, she brought resilience, and a strong sense of place with her. But most importantly, she practiced living a life that contributed to her health and wellness.
First, food has meaning and memory. Polenta made the old way in a copper pot over fire is the only way to make it properly. In her community the polenta pot is cherished and handed down to family members. Meals are prepared with olive oil, minimal salt, and the freshest vegetables to be found. Every meal is met with oohs and ahs and a story about the polenta. It is both about a healthy diet and comfort for the soul.
Second, find your tribe and make them a priority. I never heard my mother say she didn’t have time for her friends. She knew what was going on in their lives. She knew when they needed help and when celebrations were in order. For over 30 years she was President of her Trentini club in San Francisco. The community was bonded over a spectacular corner of our planet that they all called home. They celebrate that sense of identity in big and small ways as often as they can.
Finally, sing with your friends. No gathering was complete without song. Full throated, heart swelling singing that forced a smile from even the angriest teenager. My mother and her friends shared identity through songs that told the stories of their history. The singing was often spontaneous and joyful. People rose from their chairs to gather together and belt out the songs of their valley. It was shared joy.
So, as I reflect on the next several years, I’m taking these three lessons with me. Food has meaning and memory. Share the best recipes and use the best olive oil. Make your tribe a priority. How many of us say, “I don’t have time for my friends?” Our identity is brightened by the light of others. And finally, sing, dance, play games, together. Find common joy and do it often.
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Anna Alvarez Boyd, is the founder of Executive Horizons LLC, a consulting and leadership coaching business. Anna brings over 30 years of experience as a trusted senior leader to her clients. Her coaching starts with the belief that every individual is talented, creative, and whole. She supports clients to deeper self-discovery, through a unique, tailored approach for each person that includes skill building, reflective practices and leadership development.